I have systematized a lot of things in our family life, but birthday parties are not one of them. As of now, we have no set pattern or household rules to follow about who gets one when, what they look like, or who is invited. Thus far, we have had:
And now, a fourth birthday party for Shep at a local park! (Of course, on years we haven’t had official parties, we’ve celebrated birthdays in other ways, either with small family-only meals, birthday fun days, or very casual park meet-ups with friends.) His party was a sweet little delight, and I would love to tell you about it.
A few months ago, Shep started asking about having a birthday party. Given how COVID had changed the landscape for much of his preschool career, he hadn’t really attended any birthday parties until earlier this spring. Once he did, though, he was hooked, and expressed interest in a “camping and nature” themed bash for his own number four. This was most definitely a theme I could work with, and so my planning assistants and I got to work.
First up: location! We chose a somewhat out-of-the-way local park, with a pavilion tucked right up next to a small playground. The park is on a lake, and given the heat of July, I figured a morning soiree next to a body of water gave us the best chance of surviving an outdoor party.
We invited a truly eclectic selection of guests: my sister and her family; four “family friend” families; two newer-friend families from church; and the families of four preschool friends. If everyone had been able to attend, we would have topped out at almost 50 guests, but with summer travels and last-minute sickness, we ended up with a small group: my parents, Kate’s fam, my younger sister (who flew in as a surprise!), and three preschool friend families. It worked out perfectly: I joked that the only people Shep really cared about being there were his two best buddies from school (they are inseparable!), and he was positively thrilled to spend the morning with them. We sent out Paperless Post invitations to keep things simple.
Since it was a morning party, we opted for brunch-y food: chicken minis, of course, and a fruit salad from Chick-fil-a; bagels and cream cheeses from a favorite local shop; mini muffins from Publix; a mix-your-own trail mix bar; and juice boxes, water, and Waterloo to keep everyone hydrated. E-A-S-Y was my watchword.
The trail mix bar included Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, peanuts, mini pretzels, m&ms, bunny grahams, and mini marshmallows (which promptly stuck together into big clumps, ha – not the best choice for the heat).
In lieu of a traditional cake, we continued the brunch theme and opted for a tower of Duck Donuts.
The park setting was lovely and perfect for our theme, so we added just a few touches: a string of felt bunting to mark the pavilion, kraft paper runners with animal track decals for the tables, and paper goods. Very important: we brought two large standing fans to bring a breeze and keep the bugs away! They were quite effective.
We also set up our backpacking tent and Eno hammock nearby for the kids to play in, and they enjoyed those between runs to the playground.
The final organized activity was tucked inside the goodie bags: a custom nature scavenger hunt.
The favors were probably my favorite part: I’m stubborn about providing something edible or that won’t be immediately discarded, and since we had a smaller guest count, we could splurge a bit. I stamped muslin drawstring bags with each guest’s name (using these stamps), then filled them with the scavenger hunt sheet, a marker, a mini clipboard, a woodland creature sticker sheet, a granola bar, and a pair of binoculars. The final touch? A specially-chosen gem from the kids’ collections for each friend. You know we’re always trying to find uses for our overflowing rock collection :)
And there you have it! A fun and low-key morning for our best little guy. “I really loved my party,” he said on the way home, which was the sweetest thing to hear.
Thanks for taking a peek, friends! An attendee and I were discussing whether we thought at-home or on-location parties are less stressful. I came down on the side of on-location (where the main stressor for an outdoor location like this one is remembering to bring everything you need – candles, tape, scissors, etc.!), but I’d love to hear what you think!
Happy early birthday to me! I turn 34 on Sunday, and in honor of the occasion, I thought it might be fun to answer 34 questions from you dear ones. But of course, it wouldn’t be Em for Marvelous if I didn’t go a level deeper than necessary on something as simple and common as a modern day Q&A, would it? :)
Though I adore answering any sort of question (school paperwork, surveys, doctor forms, you name it), I’ve always felt a twinge of unease when soliciting or answering “ask me anythings” on Instagram or here. I suppose it feels presumptive to assume anyone would care about these little personal tidbits in a way that a typical, meaty blog post does not.
“So I ask myself: Is my digital chitchat aimed or is it aimless; thoughtful or thoughtless; strategic for the eternal good of others or wasted on self-expression? …Am I using my digital chitchat as a way to build into someone (or some online community) with a larger relational goal of edification? These questions and others determine whether my text, tweets, and images are thoughtless fragments or purposeful strategies to point others to find their joy, meaning, and purpose in God.”
A personal Q&A might seem frivolous. But I hope, as with all of the posts I share, you’ll find something here that inspires you, reframes a thought, helps you connect, makes you smile, or yes, points you to find your joy, meaning, and purpose in God. If nothing else, it will be a fun little time capsule for my kids one day :)
Let’s gooooo!
1. Least favorite household task? Wiping down the table/placemats/chairs after meals with young kids. I think it is one of the most Sisyphean tasks of parenthood.
2. Favorite poem? Or just one that is speaking to you in this season? I love this question! For those who don’t know, I was an English major with a Poetry concentration, and my senior honors thesis was an original collection of poetry… maybe someday I will share some of it! For years, I shared favorite poems regularly right here on EFM, and those archives are a beautiful collection of some of my absolute favorites. “Indian Summer at Land’s End” by Stanley Kunitz will forever be my number one.
3. Three words to describe high school Emily? I asked John, and he said nerdy, studious, and bookish (thaaaaaaanks). This was tough, but I would choose confident, earnest, and focused.
4. What are some of the big things you’re saving money for? Right now we’re very focused on finishing our house freedom fund. We’re also just about done setting aside money for our “next car” fund (which we hope to not need for a few years!). On a smaller scale, we’re planning to FINALLY buy an actual bed next month after 8+ years of marriage!!
5. What’s on your dream ice cream sundae? Banana ice cream, chocolate sauce, walnuts/pecans/peanuts, whipped cream, and a cherry :)
6. If money was no issue, what hours/job would you work? If money were TRULY no issue, I probably would not have a job, ha! I would send the kids to half-day preschool and use the extra time to write more consistently here! I still wouldn’t aggressively pursue making it a money-making venture, since that doesn’t feel particularly compatible with my content, style, or inclinations, but I might accept a few more sponsorships-in-kind.
On a more serious note, I could NOT be more grateful for my job or the hours I do work (9-4 now, 9-3 starting this fall) and would find it hard to dream up something better for this stage of my life.
7. Favorite Bible verse or most meaningful verse in this season? Oh gosh, so many good ones! Psalm 103:1-2 in the NLT translation comes to mind first.
8. Are you and John planning to stay in NC a long time? Yes! I expect we will be here through our kids growing up and heading off to start their adult lives. Maybe not in our current home, but in the Triangle. At that point, we hope to be near them, so depending on where they end up, we might move to where they are or have a home base on the coast (Beaufort, SC is somewhere we talk about!) and rental properties near where they live? We shall see!
9. What routines help keep you grounded? My bedtime routine! I head to the bedroom for the evening and ask Alexa to play the Jazz for Sleep playlist on Spotify. After showering, brushing teeth, pajamas, etc., John and I do a ten-minute full-body stretch on the Peloton app. Then I hop into bed and read a chapter in my Bible, then 30-45 minutes of whatever book I’m in the middle of. If I’m really lucky, John will want to read me some sort of essay or article or column he’s come across – my very favorite way to fall asleep, ha!
10. How did you and Lara meet and how did you get your start at Cultivate? Cultivate did not exist when Lara and I met! We connected over a comment I left on the Southern Weddings blog my senior year of college, which turned into her comment on my blog, which turned into a letter I sent to her, which turned into a blog post on SW, which turned into an unsolicited job application, which turned into a job at Southern Weddings after graduation. We’ve been together ever since, from SW to Cultivate and 3 team members to our current 13. A wild and very blessed ride, indeed!
11. Are you a chapstick or a lipstick gal? I slather on Aquaphor several times a day. If I’m feeling fancy, I love the Sugar Lip Balm in Rose and have been known to wear a vibrant lip for special occasions (my favorite being Nars Schiap).
12. How did you meet your husband? We met in middle school and started dating our senior year of high school! He asked me on a date in January and by about March I would say I was certain it was a long-term venture. Full story here!
13. Myers-Briggs type? I have tested as an ISFJ, an ISTJ, and an INFJ, but I don’t think any of them quite captures me! I do strongly identify with the Enneagram Type 5.
14. Do you speak any other languages, and if so, can you tell us a story about it? Yes! I speak a little bit of French (I took it in high school and college). I actually convinced John to take French 1 with me our senior year, even though we had only been dating for about a week! We went on to take French together in college, too. One of the only regrets of my life is not studying abroad, though I likely would have chosen England over France!
15. What is the hardest thing about living away from family? First and foremost, it is missing the little, casual, routine moments. Sure, we are able to experience some of those when parents come to visit (often for several days at a time), but there’s no weekly Wednesday breakfast with Dad before work or Sunday dinner tradition or Thursday afternoons with the grandparents. It is an onslaught of togetherness (which can sometimes be overwhelming for this introvert) and then nothing.
Another thing that’s hard is that most of our good friends’ parents do live in the area, because they grew up here. So not only are we set apart because we don’t have the built-in childcare or together time that they do, but their schedules are often booked up because they have more family activities to accommodate. That can feel a little lonely.
16. What is a benefit to living farther from family? I wrote about this here, but I would say the freedom and space to establish our own norms, traditions, and rhythms.
17. What will you ALWAYS order if it’s on a menu? I am extremely susceptible to chicken and broccoli alfredo… but the real answer is any sort of chocolate lava cake.
Stay tuned for part two tomorrow! And thanks for submitting your questions, friends – considering how much I love answering them, it’s really like a birthday present for me :)
I’d love for you to chime in – how would you answer one of these questions? Or what is something we have in common?
We have a four year old in the house! Three was the sweetest of sweet ages (proof) and I am expectant to see what four has to offer. If it’s more of the same, that sounds great to me :)
Over the years, we’ve collected a few simple family birthday traditions — a balloon for each year at your chair, the birthday banner hung on the fireplace, and getting to choose your birthday dinner.
Last year, we introduced one more: the birthday interview!
This is not a new idea by any stretch of the imagination — Pinterest has a zillion free printables — though I originally got the idea not from Pinterest but from our friends the Henrys, who conduct a similar interview with their kids on Christmas Eve every year (continuing a tradition from Mackenzie’s family growing up!).
We keep it simple: I just type up and print out her answers and stick them in a binder. (When she’s older, I’ll have her write them!)
There is one twist we’ve initiated, though: we film her answering the questions! Her little voice arrests me with its cuteness daily, and I know one day I will be desperate to listen to what she used to sound like. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
When she turned three, we thought she’d be old enough to understand our questions and come up with an answer to them, and though she has indeed answered the questions both years, some of her answers are definitely… of dubious veracity, as least according to her revealed preferences. For example, this year she named grapes as her favorite fruit — even though we have grapes in our house about two times a year. I’ve been known to add commentary in parentheses to some of the more out-there answers :)
(For the record, I can sympathize: have you ever had the experience of being asked your favorite book, and literally not being able to think of a single book you’ve ever read?! What is a book???)
Eventually we’ll add Shep’s answers to the binder, too! Here are the questions we ask, if you’d like to try something similar:
Favorite color: Favorite animal: Favorite book: Favorite thing to watch: Favorite thing to wear: Favorite game: Favorite song: Favorite breakfast: Favorite snack: Favorite fruit: Favorite treat: Favorite place to eat: Favorite thing to do outside: Favorite thing to do inside: Favorite toy: Favorite stuffed animal: Favorite holiday: Best friend: I am really good at: Where I want to go on vacation: What I want to be when I grow up: What we did on my birthday:
One last note: this is the type of thing that, if I had an eight year old and was hearing about it for the first time, might stress me out, being late to the party. Don’t do that. If you have an eight year old and want to start this, just start it! I promise she won’t care that you skipped years 3-7 :)
June’s first birthday fell on a Saturday, a delightful gift from the universe! We spent the actual day just with our family of three, hunkered down for a snow storm that never really arrived and reminiscing throughout the day about what we’d been doing one year before. We surprised her with pancakes and blueberries for breakfast and a gold star balloon tied to her high chair (one per year – a tradition I lifted from my friend Emily!). I also hung a birthday banner that I’m hoping will make an appearance for years to come. (I bought this one, then re-threaded it with a pink ribbon instead of the neon orange one it came with.)
She was super into the candle :) For dinner, John and I made our very favorite lasagna recipe, salad, garlic bread, and chocolate lava cakes for the grown-ups – after all, we were celebrating, too!
After June was tucked into her crib with lots of extra kisses, John and I sat down and each wrote her a letter. Then, for some unknown reason, we decided to read them to each other (???), which of course resulted in an ugly cry for both of us. We just feel really grateful to be her parents. We hope to add a letter each year, for her to open maybe on her 18th birthday!
The following Saturday, we invited a few family and friends over to celebrate again! Our parents made the trip down from Connecticut, Natalie, Joe, and Maisie came from Virginia, and some loved ones from church, our neighborhood, and just life joined us, too. It was not a particularly “Pinterest-y” party, though not for lack of trying, haha! We went with a loose kitty theme, and my favorite project was the pink party hats (though most of the kid guests refused to wear them!).
My most well-planned party this was not. I wanted to try my hand at a naked cake, but didn’t have a clear plan going in and so ended up making way too many layers in all the wrong sizes, stayed up too late, and generally winged it. But, both the cutting cake and June’s little smash cake turned out okay in the end. June took approximately three adult-size bites over the course of twenty minutes, one crumb at a time :)
My plan for the table was to write and draw with white chalk on a black roll of kraft paper, but I left the paper purchasing until the last minute and so was stuck with shiny wrapping paper that my chalk wouldn’t write on. (One party guest even asked if it was a trash bag, which I just had to laugh about. Generally not good when your decorations are mistaken for trash bags :))
One thing that did go right? All of the photos of June’s first year we strung up throughout our kitchen, dining, and living room. I was inspired by something Sam did for Perry’s first birthday party, and I loved the effect! In fact, we still have a few strands up even now.
Perfect party details or not, we had a lot of fun celebrating our sweet girl! There’s always year two for the smoothly frosted cake and chic details :)
