March 2024 goals

5 March 2024

When I shared earlier this year that posting frequency would slow down a bit here as I began posting weekly on The Connected Family, I worried that things would feel… slow at EFM. But thanks to your generous participation and maybe a little of the old quality v. quantity tradeoff, I was delighted by what we were able to talk about in February. You all are so good to me, and I’m excited for what I have planned for this month, too.

Writing here feels particularly like a gift right now as I work to find my TCF voice. It’s a new audience and brand (and purpose), and the trial and error feels a bit foreign! While I’ve got pretty much everything (voice, tone, perspective, format, length, angle, etc.) nailed down for EFM and CWM (since I’ve written for both for over a decade!), I’m still figuring all those things out with TCF. Thanks for coming along for the ride :)

The first of my fancy daffodils have bloomed!!

On my calendar:
— Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each kiddo to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite traditions!
— Primary voting. I would never miss a chance to add my voice, even if it sometimes seems inconsequential.
— Spring break. We are returning to Jekyll Island!

What I’m loving right now:
Ocean BINGO, an unexpected reading practice tool! Shep and I have been playing it together and, since he loves to be the caller, he finds himself sounding out things like “spotted eagle ray” and “wandering albatross.” I’ll take it :) These BINGO games are really beautiful and great quality – I want to collect all the versions (birds! cats! trees!) even though I have very little reason to.
— John and I try to have an at-home date night about once a month and usually watch a movie. Recently we chose Yesterday, and it was delightful! A feel-good pick with a just-intriguing-enough premise (and lots of Beatles songs). It’s currently included with Prime.
— I asked for and received Vuori joggers for Christmas, and I’m sorry to report back that they really are excellent. Good quality, great fit, and I love my color – iron heather.

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

— The Rifle Paper Co for Target collection was easily the most popular link I shared last month – and for good reason! I was truly blown away by the quality of the boxes I purchased. Wish there was more from the collection still in stock!!
— The pearl and gold studs I wear daily bounced up to the top, too. I’m not giving them up anytime soon but I did just try on these hearts in a store and they’re now on my wish list.
52 Modern Manners for Kids, a resource we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays
— My current sunhat
— Our favorite family conversation card deck

Last month on The Connected Family:

Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.

Low-Screen Living Cues Around Our Home | 11+ examples (with photos!) of how we’ve shaped our environment to prioritize what’s important to us.
TV Fasts | A tiny rhythm that keeps our consumption in check and our lives on track.
7 Barriers to Community | On loneliness, pride, and, yes, social media
7 Ways to Grow in Community | On consistency, going first, and shared traditions
A Simple Playground Trick for Independence | Sometimes, the best option is… doing nothing

What I read in February:
The Red Tent | I plucked this re-read off our shelf as we worked our way through Genesis in our Bible-in-a-year plan. It’s a highly-imagined recreation of Dinah’s story, compelling and adding some interesting background to the ancient world Jesus’s lineage wound through, but it made me feel similar to The Book of Longings – vaguely scandalous?
To Say Nothing of the Dog | Whew. I added this to my 2024 reading list after Janssen put it on hers, so I didn’t know too much about it before requesting it from the library. It was… very different than your average bookstagram pick (!). It’s a “comedy of manners,” a stylized form I’d never read before, and packed with literary and historical allusions, many of which I was not familiar with. It was also published in 1998. All this to say, it was mostly a slog. I was still considering DNF-ing up until about 3/4 of the way through, but I’m glad I stuck it out. I think there’s value in reading something very different and a little more challenging than my usual fare every once in a while – even if it did back up my reading pipeline for a few weeks :) And I am proud to say I guessed the twist early!

My reading list for 2024, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my February goals:
Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1 (Yes! Waiting on fabric swatches to arrive.)
Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk (Yes! I just added the top coat yesterday and now it needs two weeks (!) to cure. I found a cutie chair to pair it with at Pigfish on my birthday.)
Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat (Sadly, the AC retreat is the same weekend as my grandmother’s service, so I’m no longer able to attend. I’m very sad to miss, of course, but also feel total peace that I’ll be where I need to be that weekend. Because of this, I’ve stepped back from the planning, but can’t wait to see what the gals come up with!)
Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (I got to 39, beating my total for January by four hours! Still room to grow, but grateful for improvement!)
Write one lesson of the TCF course (It was the first one and by far the easiest, but still!)
Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive (Just starting to get into the actionable section :))
Take the Birds & Bees course with John

March goals:
— Take the Birds & Bees course with John
— Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive
— Choose fabric and send chairs off for reupholstering
— Complete at least 45 hours of deep work (about 3 for every week day, minus travel days!)
— Finish the leadership program slides + deliver my talk
— Write the second lesson of the TCF course
— Wholeheartedly enjoy my extended family and time in Connecticut, as my grandmother would have wanted

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!

Happy March! Feel free to chime in on anything I’ve mentioned or anything else on your mind.

Affiliate links are used in this post!

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February 2024 goals

6 February 2024

Maybe due to my nature, or maybe due to my job, I love January — full stop. You can keep your memes about how it’s 1,000 days long; I’ll keep it rolling as long as possible. And this January seemed like an especially January January for me. John and I laid some foundations for the year ahead (a fresh budget, vacation plans), I dug in deep on a big project and saw some early fruit, and I introduced some tiny new habits that have already made a big difference. How can you not love January, friends?!

But all good things must come to an end – on to February!

On my calendar:
— I was asked to be a mentor in a freshmen women’s leadership program at my alma mater this semester and was matched with a gal who seems just lovely. We have our first monthly call this week!
— The Divine Consign kids consignment sale. I visited in the fall for the first time and – dare I say it – it *may* have had a better selection than my beloved Hayes Barton. Certainly for older kids!
— My birthday! It falls on a Wednesday this year, which is one of my weekdays off. After putting my nose to the grindstone on these days all January, I’m giving myself the gift of a purely fun day during the kids’ school hours. I’ll volunteer in June’s classroom to start things off (my usual weekly slot), then might take myself to a few thrift shops (I’ve been wanting to visit Pigfish Lane), eat lunch out (maybe with friends?!), and who knows what else? I’m excited.

What I’m loving right now (friend edition!):
— My friend Cherith’s incredibly-helpful small business planner, which is like a wise friend to hold your hand as you create a business plan step-by-step. I had the joy of editing it at several steps in the production process, and it’s comprehensive and delightful!
The Bear’s “Forks”. I was already planning to recommend this standalone episode (it’s the only one of the show I’ve seen!), and then my friend Pressley went and wrote this essay that perfectly encapsulates its perfection. You truly can watch it even if you know nothing about the show, and I recommend you do.
Bumble Brews Play Cafe in Raleigh. My friend Libby opened this darling space in December with her husband, and the Articles Club gals feel like we’ve been along for the small business ride – not for the faint of heart! Stop by for a delicious warm beverage and a cozy space to play with your little one (they recommend 0-6!).

Okay — one more! (And not exactly a BFF but a gal can dream.)

— The Rifle Paper Co capsule collection at Target! Beautiful! I snagged this set of boxes in Juniper Forest and a planter. Considering stocking several more of the mini planters in different patterns, as I think they’d be great for the base of teacher gifts in the future!

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

— Y’all! The Articles Club Guide was a favorite from January! Thank you for being excited alongside us for our little niche slice of joy :)
— The sticky mini easel pad we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays
— The pink mailbox we use for Valentine’s Day funthis one is very similar
Outlive, a book that’s playing a central role in one of my 2024 goals
The Anxious Generation, a book we’ve preordered x 3 (how happy am I that two of the top five are books?)

Last month on The Connected Family:

Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.

Welcome to The Connected Family! | Why me, and what I hope we can do together.
Grown-Up Tech Goals for a New Year | Small changes and an unfortunate truth.
The 2024 TCF Annual Screen Report | Stats, struggles, and wins for each member of the family.
All About Team Thomas Tuesday | What it is, why I love it, and all of our topics (and resources used) so far.

What I read in January:

This was an unusual month for reading! I’m stretching several books (The Great Dechurching, Outlive, and Made for People) over a longer span for various reasons, and so only have a few to report on in full. They are:

The Vanderbeekers Make a Wish | I continue to be wowed and delighted by how Karina Yan Glaser tackles harder topics for elementary kids with warmth, gentleness, and discernment. A favorite series for sure.
The Armor of Light | Another excellent installment of the epic Kingsbridge series! Made me want to go back and read the original – maybe this summer :)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | June received the illustrated second installment for her eighth birthday and we whizzed through it together.

My reading list for 2024, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my January goals:
Kick off The Connected Family well with four weekly posts (Yes! Exceeded my expectations in every way and I’m super grateful. I was honored to earn a little orange check mark in the last week of the month, which marks a Substack bestselling publication. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!)
Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts (I did not get quite as far as I was hoping, but I did complete drafts of three (out of five) posts for the month!)
Complete at least 85 hours of deep work (Whew, this one kicked my tail! A learning curve for sure. I chose 85 because it’s roughly 1000 / 12, but I fell decidedly short for various reasons and amassed 35. Adjusting for February!)
Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate (Inquiry sent and we also had an initial meeting. We are waiting to hear back from him on next steps but we have a lot to consider.)
Begin the Bible Recap reading plan (Yes, indeed! On track and it has been great so far! We listen together while we’re getting ready for bed.)
Read the first three chapters of Outlive (Done! This was greatly helped by a tip from Lara that the audiobook is available on Spotify Premium, which we already pay for.)
Take the Birds and Bees course (We set a date in February!)
Prep for our Valentines mailbox (Underway! It’s been fun to come up with a few new ideas this year, like making wax paper crayon suncatchers, trying out the pasta maker we were gifted and have never used (eep), and a Poppin kit from HMart.)

February goals:
— Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1
— Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk, which my parents drove down from their home in Connecticut. She chose Purple Cream for the color :)
— Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat
— Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (which works out to about 3 hours for every weekday in February, with a little grace built in)
— Write one module of the TCF course
— Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive
— Take the Birds & Bees course with John

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!

Next week’s post is a dear and personal one for me… looking forward to sharing it with you. Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on January — or anything else you’d like to chat about!

Affiliate links are used in this post!

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January 2024 goals

9 January 2024

In this month, the first of the year, my attention is narrowly focused. I am aware that the demand of writing weekly on The Connected Family for a paying audience could easily become a stressor if I don’t carefully manage it, and so here at the beginning of the year, I consciously restrained myself on almost all other goals to create the space to start strong and get ahead in this one area. It’s a bit challenging (I’m excited about every one of my goals!), but I know this short-term narrowing will give me the most peace of mind and pave the way to branch out a bit more in the months to come.

Also, while we’re talking about TCF, I thought it might be helpful to do a little expectation setting here at the start.

For the last few years, my intention has been to share two posts a week on EFM. I didn’t always realize it, but that’s been the goal! With splitting my time between two platforms, going forward I plan to share one post on EFM and one post on TCF each week. TCF will be the home for all things family culture, kids + tech, and low-screen living – a deep well, considering everything that feeds into it! EFM will hold the rest: my goals, our travels, personal finance, faith, books, home updates, recipes, etc. My signature deep thoughts will feature on both :)

While this is, theoretically, the same amount of content, I recognize that only paid subscribers will now have access to all of it, and that is a change from the past 15+ years of blogging. I’m grateful to each of you that’s able to take the leap with me on this new venture. I also understand it’s not in the cards for everyone right now for various reasons, and that there might be disappointment that comes along with that. Please know I am very grateful for you and your support, in whatever form it takes.

And now, on to January!

My labor-of-love book ornaments! They capture the favorite books of our three kids from this past year: Magic Tree House, The Circus Ship, and The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street.

On my calendar:
— Our 19th dativersary! We’re taking a pottery class (part of John’s Christmas present!) to celebrate.
— A goals night with our church community group. They asked me to lead a little session and I’m delighted to – it’s always an interesting challenge to translate CWM’s teachings for a new (and guys + gals) audience.
— June’s birthday celebrations. She chose a “day of fun” this year (versus a party), and so we’re following her lead to visit the Museum of Life and Science, have lunch at Noodles & Co, play at a ninja gym, and have her very first sleepover with her BFF.

What I’m loving right now:
— As a mom who works outside the home, I loved this essay from Coffee + Crumbs – and then one of my dearest friends texted it to me saying it had struck a chord with her, too!
— I recently discovered that you can buy Olive & June items at Target. Did you know this? Their cuticle serum and polish remover pots were sitting right there in my local beauty section. Both are items I use and love! (I keep the serum in my bedside table drawer to apply right before I go to bed.)
— Alstroemeria. They are not, like, the most beautiful flower God ever created, but they are in every single grocery store flower bin and they last for – I kid you not – a month in a cut vase. Perfect to brighten up cold January days.

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

Heavenly Hunks, and rightly so.
— These stretch twill cropped pants in a faded green, one of my favorite purchases of 2023.
— The delicious-smelling and effective tangle spray we use for Annie.
— My daily face sunscreen! One of the products I MOST love to push on others :)
— The snack box June uses for school. I bought one for Shep’s stocking but it didn’t fit, so I just set it aside for his Easter basket!

What I read in December:
The Hiding Place | Essential reading, for Christians and everyone else. The courage and moral clarity of Corrie and her family – who risked their lives to save Jews and underground workers in World War II and were sent to concentration camps for it – is frankly shocking to our modern sensibilities, but so needed.
How to Stay Married | This book was making the rounds of our community group and so I hopped on the bandwagon, too. A (true) tale of a wife’s infidelity and the havoc it wreaked on their marriage, it’s an unflinchingly honest and specific look at what contributed to drift in their marriage (on both sides) and how they fought to stay together. (And, weirdly, it’s funny.) It’s also a window into what the church and community can and must do well to help real people in the very real tragedies of their lives.
The Magician’s Elephant | June passed this Kate DiCamillo book to me after reading it and I enjoyed it! It’s a short, moody tale with poetic language and a happy ending. I’d recommend for third grade-ish.

Revisiting my December goals:
Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (Not done yet but I am chugging away! I don’t have the heart to officially put it on my goals list for January, but do plan to continue working on it when I can!)
Prepare well for my family’s visit
See what I can do to continue to customize The Connected Family’s home on Substack
 (I did a little more customization but am also embracing simplicity for the moment! Banking on quality content over fancy graphics here at the start :))
Plan out content for Q1 of TCF, including brainstorming at least 100 newsletter ideas (Confirmed I will not run out of things to write about, ha!)
Tackle our laundry room
Tackle our downstairs linen closet
Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most.

January goals:
— Kick off The Connected Family well with five weekly posts
— Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts
— Complete at least 85 hours of deep work
— Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate
— Begin the Bible Recap reading plan
— Read the first three chapters of Outlive
— Take the Birds and Bees course
— Prep for our Valentines mailbox

I also am tracking a daily habit of making kid lunches the night before in my PowerSheets, which has been going well so far!

Grateful for you, friends! Please feel free to comment on anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else on your mind!

Affiliate links are used in this post!

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2024 Goals

3 January 2024

My goals came quickly and clearly this year. That’s in part because there’s one – number 4 below – that I know will require an incredible amount of effort, diligence, heart, courage, focus, and time to get off the ground, and then continually shape and manage. My other eight goals are slotted in around it, aimed at maintaining or furthering the things that matter most to me.

This is an unusual year of goals for me. It’s more concrete, it’s more public, and it’s easily the most ambitious and challenging list I’ve set in a long while – maybe ever. I feel nervous to share that this is what I’m going after (again, looking at you, no. 4), because hitting “publish” immediately gains me many new accountability partners :)

At the same time, I feel grateful to be in a place where I can set this goal. Many years of goal setting with my PowerSheets have gotten me – and my family – to here, where we have rhythms, routines, and foundations that support what matters most to us. With those in place, it feels possible to move on this one thing that – to me – feels outrageously ambitious.

Without further ado…

1. Recover the armchairs. Let’s start with something simple and straightforward :) Our two cream armchairs, purchased in 2018, are a centerpiece of our main room. They’re comfy, they’re elegant, they’re incredibly well-made. Five years in, however, they’re also… dingy. Despite splurging for Crypton fabric at the start and diligently spot treating them over the years, the wear and tear of three small children and dark jeans, etc. has led to an overall dinginess that I can no longer deny.

So! The plan is to reupholster them in a performance velvet/microsuede/whatever our brown sofa is because that thing looks spotless after more than a decade, likely in a deep blue or soft green. While part of me is mourning the cream, I actually think another tone (and potentially a darker color) will give some more dimension to the overall room. And of course, I’m excited about us all feeling just a bit more at ease in our space.

2. Read through The Bible Recap’s yearly reading plan. The last time I read through the Bible in one go was 2010-2011. I did it on my own, with no guide or study materials, and though God’s word never returns void, let’s just say I probably didn’t get as much out of it as I could.

In 2023, John used a plan from the Bible Project to read through the Bible in a year, and it was incredibly impactful for him. (He followed along mostly on audio, which meant I caught snippets here and there throughout the year!) The BibleProject’s (free! all free!) resources are phenomenal, with great depth of knowledge delivered in a light and friendly way, flawless illustrations and videos — and always designed to point you toward Jesus no matter which book you’re reading.

My original plan was to follow the same plan in 2024, but when John expressed interest in doing another alongside me, we pivoted to The Bible Recap’s plan to give him something new to chew on. We’ve had many friends use this plan and I’m thrilled we’ll get to do it together! This goal is intimidating to me, but I also feel confident that there are few better ways I could spend my time in 2024.

3. Read through and apply Outlive. “For all its successes, mainstream medicine has failed to make much progress against the diseases of aging that kill most people: heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, and type 2 diabetes. Too often, it intervenes with treatments too late to help, prolonging lifespan at the expense of healthspan, or quality of life. Dr. Attia believes we must replace this outdated framework with a personalized, proactive strategy for longevity, one where we take action now, rather than waiting.”

John and I bought this book soon after it came out last year, and it landed with a thump on our doorstep – it is a tome. While I’m sure we won’t agree with everything Peter says, we’re excited to work our way through it together and apply what feels right as we go, little by little. Spanning mental health, exercise, nutrition, testing, sleep, and more, I know this goal will likely spin off many action steps over the course of a year.

4. Launch The Connected Family’s audio course. From secret goal to out-in-the-open goal! While the initial forward-facing work of TCF will be delivering on my promise to Substack subscribers, behind the scenes I’ll be working away on our first major offering – an audio course for parents. Eep! (EEP!!!!!!!) This feels scary to say out loud and even scarier to consider actually launching one day, but I remind myself daily to just keep putting one foot in front of the other as I try to make something that might help people.

Speaking of which…

5. Log 1,000 hours of deep work. I read Cal Newport’s Deep Work as part of my 2023 reading list and loved it. As a writer, most of what I do for my job, my main hobby, and now my fledgling business requires me to think deeply and write eloquently. Because of this, it behooves me to aggressively protect my attention span.

Like everyone else, the siren song of a text message, Instagram, completing a quick to-do, or acting on some stray thought that pops into my mind takes effort to resist. For this goal, I’ll track my hours spent doing just that: thinking, writing, brainstorming, or researching with undivided focus. While I can’t call the hours unplugged (since many will be spent tapping away at my laptop), they might as well be.

1,000 hours over a year works out to about 2.7 hours per day, so this is, indeed, an aggressive goal (especially since I’ll log fewer on the weekends).

6. Take the Birds & Bees course with John. This was on my goal list last year and we didn’t quite get to it, though I did purchase it at a discount on Black Friday! I’m considering it healthy background for us as parents and also a case study for The Connected Family – Mary Flo and Megan appear to be doing something somewhat similar to what we hope to do, though on a totally different topic. I’m excited to learn from them in more ways than one!

7. Gut the loft. This is the one space in our home that just bedevils me. I’ve tried to make adjustments here and there over the years, and they’ve been of marginal help, but I know there things that could be done to make this more of a fun space for our kids and less of a maddening space for us parents.

I chose the word “gut” not because we’ll be doing any structural work here, but to reflect that I hope to look at the space with fresh eyes. That was a major lesson from working with a professional for our garage – she had no preconceptions for how the space could be used based on how we had been using it, and we came up with far better solutions by starting from scratch than moving things incrementally.

8. Invite friends over for 12 Sunday night pizza hangs. Our 2023 goal of inviting one family/friend over each month was a smashing success, even if we didn’t quite hit it on the nose. One set-up we ended up really liking: a Sunday night dinner on the earlier side, with takeout pizza, a big salad, and something easy for dessert. Ordering pizza for the main meal is more of a financial stretch, but for me, it almost instantly takes away all the stress of hosting – and in this season of family life, that’s worth its weight in gold. Plus, Sunday night tends to be pretty open for most people, meaning it’s easier to get a date on the books.

I am holding this goal with open hands and knowing it absolutely might evolve as the year goes on – but it feels like a great place to start!

9. Explore the idea of renovating our home. As longtime readers know, the vision for our future where I have felt the most unclear is whether we’ll stay in our home or move (locally). One outcome we’d never really considered was renovating our current home, but it popped onto our radar at the end of last year and has quickly become something we’re interested in exploring.

This goal may go no further than the inquiry stage, or we may end up with a full-blown renovation on our hands – only time will tell!

Thank you, friends. Sharing my goals here, year after year and month after month, is quite possibly the most potent factor in any progress I’ve made, so thank you, as always, for being kind, listening ears! :)

On that note, I’ll be back with my January goals post and my 2024 book list over the next few weeks. Please feel free to join in on anything I’ve written here, or let me know if there’s one of my goals that you’d love to hear more about as the year goes on! OR, tell me what YOU have planned for 2024! Have you set goals yet? I’d love to cheer you on.

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